Jaya Bachchan says women who wants to pay on dates are ‘stupid’

The latest episode of Navya Naveli Nanda’s podcast, What The Hell Navya 2, has ignited a discussion on chivalry and independence.

In the episode titled Macho Myths and Modern Men, Navya, along with her mother Shweta Bachchan, brother Agastya, and grandmother Jaya Bachchan, delved into the topic of men and toxicity.

During the conversation, Navya brought up the topic of women feeling independent and wanting to pay for food on dates. She highlighted how, in today’s society, some women might feel offended if men offer to pay, viewing it as a challenge to their independence. However, Jaya Bachchan interjected, calling women who feel this way “stupid” and insisting that men should always pay.

Explaining how many women want to do things independently these days, Navya said, “For example, today, if you take a girl out on a date and you offer to pay, some people get offended by that. Because women now feel they’re equally…” But before she could complete her sentence, Jaya chimed in, saying, “How stupid of those women. You should let the men pay.”

Navya continued to explore the issue, questioning where the line should be drawn between chivalry and independence. She asked if anyone had been in a situation where they had been chivalrous, but a woman had insisted she could do things herself.

“No, but I’m saying these are things that happen. That ‘Oh we can open the door for ourselves. You don’t need to open it for us.’ So, where do you draw that line? Are you opening doors for people? Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve been chivalrous but a woman has said, I can do that myself?” said Navya.

Jaya interjected again, suggesting that women were essentially saying, “Don’t be chivalrous,” and criticised this perspective as “stupid.”

Agastya, however, offered a different perspective, emphasising the importance of intent behind chivalrous gestures. He explained that as long as actions were done out of politeness and a desire to help, rather than to assert dominance, they would not be perceived negatively. He stressed that the intent behind gestures like opening doors or offering to pay for meals was crucial, as it could determine whether they were seen as chivalrous or toxic.

He said, “As long as you’re doing it to be polite, and not show ‘I’m the man,’ you can’t go wrong. If you’re opening the door not to be like, ‘I’m the one opening the door’ instead you’re doing it because ‘I want to help you,’ it’s never gonna come across the wrong way.”

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